The Menopause Survival
Guide ...For Men
Further Symptoms
Hair Changes
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Hair thinning, loss, or texture changes due to reduced estrogen affecting hair follicles. Do some research on supplements or shampoos that may help her with this. Maybe get your wallet out and offer to pay for a new hairdo.
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Joint and Muscle Pain
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Increased joint and muscle aches as estrogen's anti-inflammatory properties decline. After our first breakup, we met for coffee for a big discussion. As we were leaving, it pained me to see the way she was clutching her shopping bags. She literally moved like an old lady. Once again, if you notice that you can carry or move stuff for her, it’ll be noticed and appreciated.
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Breast Tenderness
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Hormonal fluctuations cause cyclical or non-cyclical breast pain and tenderness. I’ll add that sensitivity to touch all over the body can occur.
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Headaches
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Changes in estrogen levels can trigger migraines or increase their frequency and severity.
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Heart Palpitations
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Sensations of a racing or irregular heartbeat caused by fluctuating hormone levels.
That’s not it though. There are around 30 symptoms linked to menopause. I’ve just listed the main ones. So do your research. Take note of changes that you’ve noticed in your partner and see if they match up with your research.
What Other Sites
Won't Tell You
Secret Symptoms
There are some other symptoms that I believe are relevant, but you won’t find much mentioned about them elsewhere. I’ve seen them mentioned by women in menopause forums.
...And I also noticed them in my ex-partner. These seem to be common symptoms that are often kept secret from significant others:
ISOLATION
After around 9 months of the HRT not working, I noticed my partner retreating more and more from me. We didn’t live together, so she would find reasons for me not to go around. When I spoke to her about it, she said that she just wanted to be alone to do her own thing. She felt that she had to pretend to be upbeat and that it was a huge strain to have to make the effort to talk and do things with another person. This appears to be a thing for some women going through menopause where they literally want to hide from the world and just be alone. In my research I read about a guy whose wife used their kid’s college fund to buy another house and move out. I should add that when my partner became herself again, she confessed that she had commitment issues due to childhood trauma and she had been keeping it from me. So, her pre-existing condition may have been a part of this particular quirk. Which leads me to my next point nicely.
PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES
Changes in brain chemistry during menopause can bring up past traumas in your partner's life. My partner happened to have some deep-seated issues which I had only seen small glimpses of prior to menopause. These suddenly became a major part of her personality, as she would react to things I did or said, or just tell me about them. She even started to dress differently at home because of this. These issues are a part of what ended the relationship the first time and that breakup gave me clues about what was going on with her. They also played a huge part in us breaking up for good. More on that another time.
LOSS OF LOVE
So, this is a big one. And one of the main reasons I wanted to do this blog. Because not many articles mention this. It is a thing, and it does happen. I’ve seen women stating that it felt as though the blinkers fell off, and they could see their partner for who they really were, rather than under the rose-tinted glasses of love. This is obviously terrifying to consider. But don’t worry, it can be reversed.
What I will say is that if you are told this, it is going to have a huge psychological impact on you. And you are going to have to decide if the relationship is worth saving. I actually experienced something similar when she returned to normal. A few times I looked at her and I couldn’t see what I saw in her. I’m guessing that my subconscious couldn’t reconcile the fact that she loved me again and was trying to protect me.
To be honest, I wish I hadn’t just gone along with things and not pushed those thoughts aside. Because the amount of hurt and pain I have been through was not worth it in the end.
Only you can decide this.
Be logical and non-emotional with this one. There’s no guarantee they’ll come back. And they can be very cold and indifferent towards you. Her brain chemistry will have changed so you may be living with a different person from the one you fell in love with!
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So, there you have it. Some of the main symptoms you are going to witness and possibly be on the receiving end of during perimenopause and menopause. Understanding these symptoms and their causes can help you support your partner during this transition.
If you like this blog, share your thoughts, and any personal experiences you’ve had. I’d like to hear what you guys think and any interesting points that you may have.
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Remember that open communication and empathy are crucial to getting through menopause with your partner. You are a team. So the more you can help your partner, the easier it’s going to be for both of you.
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Next, we're going to look at the physical symptoms in-depth. We’re going to skip over irregular periods as they are self-explanatory, and my initial explanation covered it.
Although I will say that if you notice unusual distances between periods, then it doesn’t mean that she is having an affair, or that she is making excuses not to have sex. And if you notice it and she hasn’t mentioned menopause, maybe now is the time to suggest she contact her doctor.
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